I’ve had PTSD for a very long time…

actually for longer than you’ve known me.

I wasn’t honestly processing or dealing with what all happened to me after high school and the first couple years in college. Then more things were piled on top.

Once things went down in ATL it was like a sudden recap of everything that had gone wrong before I ever went to Georgia. It all at crashed down at once… and I was completely torn asunder .

I don’t know how people honestly recover from things… I know I haven’t had the healthiest coping mechanisms over the years.

How do you cope? -therapist

...art?

Work. Create....
I pile things one on top of the other so I don’t have a free moment. I keep myself busy and the pressure to be something more is constantly at maximum capacity.

I really don't think I've taken time to cope.

I just shoved everything to the side and kept moving.

I’ve been asked me more than once how I coped with the things I've been through... and in general I don't think I have.

But at the same time, I don't know how or what I was supposed to do.

Because of all the gaslighting I've dealt with, I have a hard time even knowing if what I've experienced is as serious as I instinctually think it is or how I should react to things.

I may not spiral into a circular pattern of negative thought anymore due to the medicine I’ve taken, but I don't know how I should feel about things.

I know I will never receive "justice" for some of the horrible things I've lived through.... but how is someone suppose to feel and what is suppose to happen from here?